To overcome homesickness is a challenge many of us have to go through when leaving the nest. I experienced homesickness at different stages of my life. As a student in a foreign country, as a newly-wed in Alaska and as a young mother in Massachusetts. Feeling homesick is inevitable and normal. No matter how happy and excited you are about moving away, your mind gets confused about what you left behind and the uncertainty of what’s ahead.
Just remember that feeling homesick is temporary and things will shortly return to normal in your new home.
To me, the symptoms of homesickness always showed up really quickly after arriving in my new place. Every time, I was nostalgic of the food, I missed the scent of my house, the comfort of my grandma, the music. I unwillingly compared everything to how it was back at home and turned into a very negative person. I isolated myself and just dwelled on what I had left.
Here is some advice on what you can do to get through the storm: 5 ways to overcome homesickness.
1. Let yourself be homesick for a while.
The first step in order to overcome homesickness is to accept feeling that way. Feeling homesick is part of the whole moving experience. A little hardship to later better enjoy everything around you. Give yourself a break and don’t be ashamed to feel homesick. I felt guilty to experience homesickness because I was so lucky to be abroad, in a beautiful home and in a big city. I had no right to complain. It could only be great, I thought.
Homesickness made me realize that, despite being where I always wanted to be, I loved my home and my family more than I thought.
2. Keep a connection with home, but not too much.
Don’t text or call your friends and family back home every day. You have to immerse yourself in your new place to create a new nest and a new group of friends. Calling your loved ones once a week is enough.
A good way to overcome homesickness is to choose real over virtual life. Stay away from social media as it is only going to keep you anchored in your old ways when you should get out and explore.
Getting care packages with goodies from home was always the best for me and the kids. It was like being able to almost touch home for a moment.
3. Find people to hang out with.
Find people to spend time with even if you don’t think they’ll become your best friends. At least, you are out of your room/house and doing something.
I had the funniest roommate when I moved abroad as a student. It wasn’t love at first sight between us but I’m glad she was by my side when we had to find the right bus to go to school on the first day. Over time, we became very close friends and shared everything.
4. Explore and be curious.
Get familiar with your new surroundings. Walk, remember street names, find new landmarks, check out local cafes and grocery stores.
For me, knowing where I was going was always essential when arriving in a new place. I always drove around a lot and tried to get my bearings without relying too much on the GPS. It helped me feel more secure to literally know where to go.
Have fun with the food. Grocery stores are like treasure chests when you move to a new country. Try new products, recipes and blend in with the locals.
5. Start filling up your schedule with regular activities.
Being busy is a great way to overcome feeling homesick. Join a gym or a running group, go to library story times with your kids, get a job or volunteer. Once you get back in a routine, you’ll start developing new habits and your mind will start feeling at ease again: feeling like home in your new home.
Every time I moved abroad; it took at least 3 months for me to start feeling comfortable in my new place. Don’t let the language or cultural barriers scare you away from the fun. Moving to a foreign country makes you get out of your comfort zone on a daily basis.
Homesickness hits you the hardest when you first move, but you can also have setbacks for the Holidays, when you miss a birth or a death.
Whether you’re a student going away for the first time, a military spouse moving for the sixth time or just an expat by choice, homesickness is always a common factor. We always remember the good better than it was, and minimize the things we disliked about a place or time in our lives. Therefore, comparing a new place to our old one is just counterproductive.
Living away from home is always a rewarding experience in the end. Overcoming homesickness takes time. What you miss when you’re away are the things that truly matter in your life. It’s good to realize what those things are to never take them for granted again.
My next move will come in a few years and I’m already starting to get nervous about it. It will be our first move with teenagers and that will probably deserve another article! Until then, enjoy where you are.
Check out the EF website if you want to learn a new language abroad.
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