6 real life tips on how to raise multilingual children. What worked, what didn’t and how I manage to make my kids bilingual after 10 years of hard work!
As a French speaker who married an American, bilingualism has shaped my adulthood and has become a natural aspect of my life. When we got pregnant with our first child, my husband and I knew we needed some kind of plan to make our daughter bilingual. It all started with a book and a few Google searches. Even if I wasn’t sure what to do, I knew from experience what kind of dual-language experience I didn’t want for my children.
I remember one friend in particular who was raised between France and Australia. His father was Jordanian and his mother was French. I noticed that he could speak French and English well, but not as well as a native speaker. His writing was also rather poor and his vocabulary limited in both languages. Then I met his siblings and noticed the same thing. They could all speak both languages, but with limitations. They would switch from one language to another in the same conversation when they couldn’t find their words. I thought it was sad not to be able to master at least one language. When I got pregnant with my first child; I didn’t want to reproduce that scenario.
Here are 6 tips that worked for us in order to raise multilingual children.
1. One parent, one language.
What was clear from all of our research was that each parent should stick to their language when talking directly to their child. It is brain gymnastics, but it is important to be clear and consistent so that your child’s brain can differentiate the two or more languages that you want them to learn from day 1.
My husband and I had always spoken English together, so we kept doing that. However, I spoke French to our daughters and he spoke English to them. When we were the four of us, the conversation took place in both languages depending on who was talking to who. With time, the kids understood that they should respond to me in French and to their dad in English, even in public places.
This system worked best until the kids started going to school and became more independent. Our eldest always had an easy time switching from one language to another. Our youngest showed resistance to French though. I would speak French to her and many times she responded back in English. I gently insisted on her rephrasing in French, but I tried not to interrupt our conversation because of that.
2. Create a multilingual environment.
It’s important to have all languages well represented when raising multilingual children. If both languages are part of all of your daily life’s aspects, the children will learn seamlessly. Think about what your child does during a typical day and introduce the other language to their routine.
Young children love books. Every evening, we read a short English and French book to our daughters. We also made our own lullaby medley with French and English classics. I had them listen to short audio books in the car in both languages. They heard me listening to French music and they listened to Country music with their dad. We watched movies from both countries in their original version.
I also introduced the other language and culture through crafts. Many times, being multilingual also means being multicultural. Speaking a language is great, but knowing about the history and the culture that goes with it makes it more interesting.
3. Find other speakers to meet with.
When trying to raise multilingual kids , being our children’s only interlocutor can be frustrating. Children communicate more easily with other children, so try to find other speakers like you in your area and have play dates with their kids. We lived in a small city in Massachusetts and I was pretty much the only French speaker in the area. Our daughters were not able to socialize in French, but I stuck with it anyways and their French improved even if English was their stronger language.
Technology might be a good tool for your kids to hear a language more; if they are receptive to it. I found that our daughters didn’t care for speaking French to their grandparents through a screen when they were little. However, they loved getting care packages from their grandparents full of Belgian waffles, chocolates and books in French. Even if screens do not seem to work, get your family involved writing postcards and sending small packages with goodies from their home country. That will stimulate your kids’ interest for that country and language.
4. Take a trip.
When our girls were 4 and 5 years old, we moved back to Belgium and their life in French fully started. As a result, their English declined and after a few years we felt kind of stuck in a rut. That’s when their aunt visited us with 2 cousins their age from Arizona. We quickly realized that English wasn’t a barrier at all between our daughters and their cousins. Even if our girls didn’t have the same amount of vocabulary, they talked with ease and without being scared. Seeing them in action reassured us and made us realize that they had retain more than we thought. That was a relief and we decided to take a trip back to the U.S. the following year to keep that ball rolling.
If you can, take a trip where the weaker language is spoken to give your kids the opportunity to hear it and use it in another context.
5. Get help from a teacher.
After a few years in Belgium, I felt that I was tired of trying to teach the kids grammar and everything they needed to know to kind of maintain the level of English they should have for their age. We decided to find an English tutor in our area to relieve us a little bit.
Raising multilingual children is time consuming and can become a burden at times, so it is important to seek external help when possible.
When the kids are old enough, they can also learn the less fun aspects of a language through language applications and homework books that you can get online. I got books that followed their grade curriculum and they enjoyed doing that once a week. Those books were a great addition to their language learning because speaking a language doesn’t automatically make us great teachers!
6. Don’t be too hard on yourself!
Raising multilingual children is extra work! The first 6 years went well as far as sticking to the plan and being consistent with the learning of both languages. As the kids grew up, we had tough times and often found ourselves discouraged.
At times, we didn’t do anything for several weeks, or my husband’s French became so good that he started speaking French with the kids. It seemed like we were doing everything wrong and us, as well as the kids, ended up being very frustrated.
We do what we can. We work, the kids have their own French homework, sports and music… There isn’t always enough time or motivation left to work on their English. It is what it is. We have ups and downs, but at least we have ups. During those times, we work hard, we learn new things and we are proud of that.
Even small progress is good to take, so don’t give up during hard times and keep doing what you can.
A language is a lifelong learning experience and is never fully acquired. It requires work and regular practice to maintain a decent level. Try to be as steady and consistent as possible with your children, especially at a very young age when they learn faster than ever and retain everything you teach them like sponges. Expose them to others and make them proud of their multilingual skills.
Whether it is to preserve a family heritage and to prepare for an international future, learning a foreign language is a commitment and should not be taken lightly. Do your research, have a plan and don’t let time and life make you give up on that desire to raise multilingual children. I hope you found these tips on how to raise multilingual children helpful!
Check out Annika Bourgogne’s book Be Bilingual – Practical Ideas for Multilingual Families for useful, pragmatic advice on how to raise multilingual children.
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