Do you feel like you are moving backwards in your career?
At 37 years old, I’ve come to the conclusion that I am professionally unstable. Indeed, I’ve never held a position for more than 2 years in a row, and I have had so many crappy jobs that it is laughable at. I’m somehow moving backwards in my career as time goes on. It is so embarrassing that I need to take action whine a little about it.
The premises.
I was always a straight A student who thrived through academic work and never had any idea what to do as an adult. I loved horses and wanted to be a vet like my dad. In high school, I realized my aversion for math and science wasn’t going to take me to vet school. I went abroad for a year, and later got a random business degree while working a few dead-end jobs to pay for my classes. Further down the road, I also obtained a cooking degree. Last but not least, I got married to a military guy, so moving around didn’t help with stability.
Tough reality.
I worked here and there for a few years, but always in dead-end jobs. Dead-end jobs are jobs that will never have anything more to offer than what they offer today. No promotion, no raise, no training, no recognition. These jobs are frozen in time. At 37, after 15 years of those, I feel that my best job was my first one. Back then, I probably made more money than I do today and I was hopeful for what was to come. Today, I do things that could easily be done by a 16-year-old. As a result, people either look at me as a failure or feel sorry for the aging mother that I am.
For the sake of the family.
I consider myself a smart person who could evolve in a position, but life had me make sacrifices that I chose to make. My husband and I had 2 children and restaurants shifts are not really compatible with school hours and such… Accordingly, we made the choice to cut down on my hours so I could handle the everyday life and the children while they were young. This new schedule was much better for our family life and we were able to make it work without having to rely on baby-sitters on drugs or grand-parents.
I managed to stay in the restaurant business part-time. The catering field turned out to be a better fit with day hours during the week. Over time, even though I liked my job, worked over time, weekends and devoted myself as much as I could, I felt frustrated to always be seen as the part-time working mother who could never grow in the company. I saw others getting more responsibilities, more recognition and it just got frustrating for me. Recently, I got laid-off from my job because I couldn’t work full-time. Initially, the company had hired me part-time, but as the business grew, their needs changed. That’s when I realized that my career was moving backwards …
No regrets.
I don’t want my children to sacrifice their activities to accommodate my schedule. This is the luxury I have; my family can afford me working part-time thanks to my husband’s salary. Would I make these choices again? Yes of course. My children are my priority, but I’m not afraid to say that this situation doesn’t make me a fulfilled individual. Ultimately, this is what’s better for the family.
I meet so many people who’ve worked so much that they regret not seeing their children grow up or not enjoying life enough. I was raised by parents like that. At the present time, I feel the opposite way. I’ve enjoyed life a lot, however, I’ve not worked enough (for a salary at least). I feel that my work as a mother is seen as time-off to our society’s eye. Ideally, I would like to financially contribute more.
What are the Options?
It seems that we can’t do anything a tiny bit interesting and rewarding less than 40 hours a week? We are condemned to unbalance. I feel like I have to sacrifice my job for my family, or my family for my job. I sacrificed my job for my family. Was it worth it? I think it was for the first few years, when the children really benefited from having a parent around. As teenage years are coming, I think it’s time for me to rise again. I hope I will find an employer who will not judge me for the years of “family fun” I had and who will give me a chance. I don’t believe in miracles though…
To break this cycle, I decided to set a personal goal. I would like to build my own stability, build my own ladder and become self-employed. I do not want to be somebody else’s do-it-all anymore. I ought to give it a real try. I have ideas and I am willing to work as hard as it takes to build this new chapter with my own hands!
It was kind of funny to write down every job that I’ve had so far. It made for an eclectic list!
– Made and sold goat cheese on markets
– Random admin stuff for a Belgian Food Safety Agency
– Cashier in a supermarket
– Bagger
– Dry cleaner receptionist
– Library Technician
– Testing person at an education center
– Logistics technician in a pharmaceutical company
– Cook at Chateau du Mylord
– Cook at Bistro les Gras
– Cook at Arondeau
– Cook at Noir Bonnet
– Chocolate maker at Druart
We only live once…
You might like Nikki Best’s article on feeling unstable and what she did about it.
In line with this topic, check out how to feel alive again.
