Pros and Cons of Keeping Your Name After Marriage

Name change after marriage can seem natural to some and be the proof of unconditional love. Others might feel like they’re given up on themselves and are not comfortable with the idea of taking someone’s name. In today’s world, we at least have the freedom to decide for ourselves. You can still say “I do” but I don’t want to change my name. Here a list of pros and cons of keeping your name after marriage that will help you decide.

Pros of keeping your name after marriage:

1. Ditch the paperwork!

Who needs that much stress post honeymoon? As a dual citizen and a Green Card holder, changing names after marriage would have meant several trips to the different embassies, months of waiting, and lots of dollars to renew all these documents.

2. Show your husband who’s the boss.

Keeping your name establishes a sense of equality between a wife and a husband. It is going with the trend of autonomy amongst women.

3. Make Genealogists’ work easier.

Recording names as they were at birth seems to be the easiest way to find you a few centuries down the road when a descendant decides to look up his/her family tree.

4. Being findable!

Your old school friends will always be able to find you on social media (I agree this might be a con too…). Keeping your maiden name makes it easier to keep your network intact. There is plenty of people I’d like to re-connect with one day. They’ll be able to find me in a couple of clicks.

5. Not compromise your professional identity.

You built your career over the years and your name is your reputation. Keeping your name after marriage is a way to keep business running smoothly and preserve your privacy.

6. Save your name from extinction.

No one wants to end up like the dinosaurs and keeping your name might be a good idea if there aren’t many males in your family. Keeping your name is also a way to honor your family’s legacy.

7. His last name doesn’t sweep you off your feet.

Some names are hard to carry. All the love in the world does not justify you having to carry a name you might be embarrassed of.

Cons of keeping your name after marriage:

1. Turning your back to romanticism.

Sharing a name with the person you love the most seems like a great bond to have. Keeping your name after marriage might make you look like a hard-core pragmatic.

2. Traditions are important in some families.

Not changing names might raise tensions. We all want to be accepted by our new family. Taking their name is often seen as a sign of commitment. Be ready for some questions from your new family if you decide otherwise.

3. Nor sharing your kids’ last name.

Keeping your birth name is personal, but what will you do about the children? When every member of a family shares the same last name, it creates an extra sense of family unit. Are you willing to give that up?

4. Having to prove your marriage is legitimate.

With different last names, you might have to prove your union with your marriage certificate more often than if you shared a last name (hospital visits, insurance, visas, etc).

5. Being categorized as a feminist

I didn’t keep my birth name to prove anything to society or men. It just felt right to do so and there’s nothing else to it. You might have to justify yourself from time to time about going against the norm. Most people will understand your choice when you explain your point of view.

6. Not getting a clean slate!

Changing names gives you an opportunity to start fresh, to not be linked to some people, to free yourself from an iffy past. Keeping your birth name is owning up to what you’ve done.

---

You should be attentive to the pros and cons of keeping your name after marriage when making your decision. You can change your name, not change it, have him take yours, take both names, combine both. Nothing is set in stone and you can always change it back (through a potential long and costly process). Think about what’s important to you and your kids and in the end, you shall all live happily ever after.

Check out NewlyNamed’s checklist if you do decide to change your name after all!

You might also like:

Why I didn’t change my name after getting married.