The Right to Die with Dignity.
Many people around me are getting to the end of their life.
I know that in the next 10 years, I’ll attend many funerals. My opinion about euthanasia has evolved with age. I was never against it, but I’ve always felt that death should come naturally. I have never met someone who decided to depart this life using euthanasia. After seeing the passing of several loved ones and how their last few weeks went, I think that, perhaps, they would have grabbed the chance to end their lives sooner if they could have.
What would we want if our days were counted, if our mind was destined to abandon us?
The case of Belgium.
I’m currently living in Belgium, where euthanasia was legalized in 2002. Lisa Bradshaw explains that Belgium is the second country in the world (after the Netherlands) to have legalized the procedure. It is the only country where euthanasia is allowed under 18.  The conditions to access it are strict.
- The patient must be mentally capable of making the decision.
- The patient must request euthanasia on two separate occasions, in writing.
- The patient must be suffering from the effects of an incurable disease or mental illness. All treatment options must have been exhausted.
- The patient must be experiencing unbearable suffering from the illness, either physically or psychologically.
The procedure can be completed at home or in a hospital room. 2% of deaths in Belgium result from euthanasia.
My loved ones didn’t die with dignity.
The last memory I have of my grandma before she died in the hospital, is her begging me to let her drink a glass of water. The nurses wouldn’t let her have water because they were afraid she would choke on it. I gave her the glass of water and was stunned at how absurd this situation was. My adored grandma, who made me the best meals I have ever eaten, was forced to have Jello shots as her last meal and wasn’t allowed water anymore. This was not dying with dignity. Being Catholic, I don’t think she would have considered ending her life sooner.
However, her last days were definitely a representation of what I wouldn’t want for my dying self.
My sister-in-law’s dad died a year ago from a very fast spreading lung cancer who killed him in 3 months. His cancer spread to his brain very quickly and left him incoherent and distressed. Doctors used palliative sedation to put in him in an induced sleep he would wake up from occasionally to undergo more medical exams he didn’t want. His loved ones were left for weeks with a dad who wanted it to stop. The undecisive medical team struggled to know when enough was enough.
Maybe if he had been given the chance to voice what his limits were, he could have passed more peacefully.
My husband’s grandma showed signs of Alzheimer’s disease in her sixties. She stayed at home with her husband , repeating the same scenario over and over all day long. Slowly, she declined and was placed in a specialized nursing home to spend her last months in a hammock before passing at age 90. When I first met her, it was as if someone pushed the reset button on her brain every 30 minutes. She followed the conversation and all of a sudden, she would start from scratch again. She looked happy at the time, but I remember how exhausting this afternoon with her was. I left wondering what kind of life was ahead for her healthy, devoted husband who took care of her every minute.
Would I want my husband to sacrifice his healthy years for so long to take care of me? I think I would want him to remember me in full consciousness and live his life, as long as he can, to the fullest.
A need for more inclusive laws.
With euthanasia laws already in place, I hope they will evolve to give permission to people in the early stages of dementia or in case of brain tumors for example, to request assisted suicide ahead of time, while they are still sane.
The few deaths I have witnessed had me realize that the end of life is often degrading, painful and distressing.
We all wish to die peacefully in our sleep while dreaming about our best life. Despite the worst prognosis, humans’ insatiable will to live will always prevail as will a small hope for a miracle in the back of our mind. Euthanasia kills every hope left, prevents any miracle to happen and above all else relieves people’s suffering.
We have to be lucid about death.
If we don’t talk about death. If we don’t tell our doctors, our loved ones when enough will be enough. If we don’t clearly voice when to pull the plug, whether it is through euthanasia or sedation, we might endure the worst possible path to death. A path made of distress, dark thoughts and pain all in front of our loved ones’ eyes.
Even if extreme and unnatural in many ways. I’m glad euthanasia is an option for the darker times I hope I’ll never get to live.
The article “Dying with dignity” from Lisa Bradshaw was really interesting and insightful.
You might also like “how to feel alive again”.
For those who reside in France, a beautiful documentary was released by Marina Carrere on France TV about how France is still undecisive about euthanasia.
